What is wrong with me?

WHY AM I FEELING THIS WAY?

AM I ALWAYS GOING TO FEEL SAD?

I AM JUST A NORMAL PERSON, CAN’T I GET OUT OF THIS FUNK BY MYSELF?

WHY DO I WANT TO SLEEP ALL DAY?

WHY CAN’T I FEEL HAPPY WHEN EVERYONE AROUND ME SEEMS TO BE ENJOYING THEMSELVES?

I USED TO LOVE DOING CERTAIN ACTIVITIES AND NOW I HAVE NO DESIRE TO DO THEM.

I FEEL LIKE I AM ALL ALONE EVEN when I AM SURROUNDED BY MY FAMILY OR FRIENDS.

I remember almost the exact moment when I discovered what I had was considered depression. I was pregnant with my 3rd baby and I was so sick physically it started to affect my mental health as well.

I asked the questions above repeatedly to myself, and I did not know the answers.

It wasn’t until I opened up to friends and family that I finally realized what I had was a legit mental illness, not like the cold or flu it wasn’t going away it was staying around like an undesired aroma.

I couldn’t escape it because it was inside me it was with me all day all night.

Depression

It seems that the illness of depression and anxiety is getting a lot of hype in the media, in our social lives, and in the medical field these last few years, and this is definitely a good thing.

Even though there are tons of resources out there to more fully understand the illness it doesn’t make it any easier when you are the one struggling with it every day.

What about you?

The questions and thoughts above may or may not have come to your mind when you or someone you loved realized what you/they had was depression.

Depression is definitely a general name for a very broad array of ways that it can manifest itself in different people.

Many Different Types Of depression

So what type of depression do you have?

Ther are so many different names for different types of the illness. There is high functioning depression AKA Dysthymia, where the person suffering may seem completely normal on the outside but struggles internally to find purpose in life.

Major depressive Disorder is another very common type which may manifest itself in what seems like a billion different ways depending on the person.

The Mayo Clinic identifies the following symptoms with MDD or Major Depressive Disorder.

• Feelings of sadness, tearfulness, emptiness or hopelessness
• Angry outbursts, irritability or frustration, even over small matters
• Loss of interest or pleasure in most or all normal activities, such as sex, hobbies or sports
• Sleep disturbances, including insomnia or sleeping too much
• Tiredness and lack of energy, so even small tasks take extra effort
• Reduced appetite and weight loss or increased cravings for food and weight gain
• Anxiety, agitation or restlessness
• Slowed thinking, speaking or body movements
• Feelings of worthlessness or guilt, fixating on past failures or self-blame
• Trouble thinking, concentrating, making decisions and remembering things
• Frequent or recurrent thoughts of death, suicidal thoughts, suicide attempts or suicide
• Unexplained physical problems, such as back pain or headaches

Bipolar depressive disorder or manic depression usually is when a person experiences extreme highs and extreme lows. Such as one day they are literally ready to take on the world and make arrangements to do so and then the very next day they physically can not make themselves get out of bed they can deal with extreme bouts in areas like anger, major impulsive behaviors etc etc.

DEPRESSION SUCKS!

First off let’s start by saying this DEPRESSION SUCKS! No matter what type of depressive disorder you have it isn’t fun and it doesn’t seem fair at all.

Someone with a broken arm will get the attention and sympathy of others because their hurt is on the outside where everyone can see it. They may have a crazy story as to how the broke their arm in the first place. They might even have a bright green cast for everyone around them to sign and smile at.

Depression is a different kind of hurt it is an illness of the brain an illness that can’t necessarily be seen on the outside.

Often times someone who is suffering from depression has mastered the art of hiding the way they truly feel inside.

Because of this, they receive little sympathy, and even less help to find a cure or coping mechanisms to overcome it.

Fight Fight Fight!

Depression has been considered a constant battle, whos battlefield is in the mind. The war isn’t fought only between two opposing sides but can be between 4,5,6, or even more.

generally speaking when a person has depression, they also most likely will have anxiety as well. They might suffer from OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder), they may have ADD or ADHD.

Some suffer from schizophrenia and manic episodes, to say the least.

No matter if they have minor depression or if they have all the illnesses I listed above, they are fighting a nonstop battle inside their minds.

When we first start feeling not our normal selves we wonder if we are just making a false claim to our reality.

Are we making things worse than they really are?

Maybe we are just tired and need to take extra vitamins.

Those could be the case but if the feelings of overwhelming sadness seem to take over the majority of your days, feelings can range from a constant low feeling that is always hanging around or it can come and go in really high ups and extremely low downs.

If you have lost sight of what you used to love and the person you feel like you once were, most likely you could be suffering from depression.

Get HELP!!

The amazing thing is, you don’t have to fight this battle alone.

GET HELP!!

Talk to someone you love about how you are feeling even if it feels irrational and scary.

Schedule an appointment with your Dr. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks or says, Do this for you!

YOU ARE WORTH THE FIGHT! YOU ARE WORTH IT!

The sooner you get help the easier it is to cure or manage it.

YOU’VE GOT THIS!

Read this talk given by one of my favorite leaders ever! I have found so much comfort in his words and I know you will too.

If you have depression what were the first signs of it in your life? How have you gotten help?

-Disclaimer: I am not a therapist or a licensed mental health professional. If you are in need of professional help I recommend Better Help. They will match you with a therapist that you can skype, email or talk to on the phone for an affordable monthly price. To find a mental health care provider near you call 1-800-662-HELP (4357).