A best friend of mine once told me a quote that I think about often, She said,

” The grass is brown on both sides of the fence, it’s only GREEN where YOU water it. “

As I have thought about those words over the last several years it has helped me dissect the way I am thinking and has helped me change my perspective on life.

It gives me the responsibility to not let life just happen to me but helps me to act for myself and take control of the outcome of each and every day.

My friend now lives in Arizona and I’m sure that she understands that the grass is literally brown unless it is frequently watered. If she doesn’t take the time to water it herself or set the sprinklers to water it, her grass could end up a brown crispy lawn in a short amount of time.

I’m sure it was easier to keep her grass lush and green while she was living here in Pennsylvania because it is naturally so humid and wet here. Growing green grass usually comes with little to no effort at all.

It’s the same way with our own lives. If we do not take the time to nourish and water our souls and spirits and even our minds and bodies, we can end up like the grass of a very thirsty lawn.

How do we nourish and water our souls, minds, and bodies?

You know what I am talking about right? Everyone tells us all the time the things we need to do to stay healthy physically and mentally. For example, eat healthy nourishing food, exercise, pray, read and study the scriptures, always keep learning new things, etc.

So if we do these things does our success with these determine our outcome in life? Well, I guess you could say it does to and extent, but only to and extent.

What about the parts of life where we don’t get to choose what happens? What about sickness, tragedy, other people’s choices that directly affect us or even death? What about depression and Anxiety?

How are we supposed to water the grass when we don’t feel like we have any source to turn the sprinkler on?

Do you want to know the secret to make sure your grass is always watered no matter what life throws your way?

Are you ready for this?

Ok, here it is…..

The secret to success in life… the secret to having the most beautiful, greenest, weed-free grass in the world is…

Drumroll, please…

Gratitude!!

Yep there it is, that’s the answer.

Now you are probably asking yourself a myriad of questions right now. Especially if you are going through any hard trials in your life as you read this. For example, ‘’ How can I be thankful or full of gratitude when I am sick, or if I have cancer, how can I be thankful for anything if I have depression or anxiety? How can I be thankful when I just lost a loved one? How can I be thankful when all of my pure hopes and dreams have never panned out the way I wanted them to?

Maybe you are thinking ‘’ sure I can be thankful when these things have passed and I am no longer struggling or suffering from them, but I’m not thankful for this awful, maybe tragic time in my life right now at all!’’

It’s easy to keep your grass green if you live in Pennsylvania! It’s easy to be grateful when life is smooth sailing.

Let’s back up a little. I didn’t mean you have to be thankful for those specific things that are happening to you, you don’t have to love to suffer, but I meant you can with time and patience, have and cultivate a spirit of gratitude. No matter what happens to you you can have faith and know that it is all going to end up ok.

For example I have suffered from major depression and anxiety for over 10 years. It doesn’t go away, yes I have better days months than others but it is still always here with me. I hate this more than anything. I crave with all my soul to feel “normal again”. I long for the days when my mind wasn’t sad and dark.

But this being said I am thankful for this trial in my life. I am grateful for it because it has brought me to you. Because through this awful trial I can help others who are struggling with it as well. Through this illness I can learn empathy, I can learn how to support and love people no matter what they are going through. I can feel a tiny smidge of what Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane for me.

This helps me to love others even deeper than I was able to before I had these mental illnesses. That last part right there is my favorite take away from all of this. We are here on this earth to connect with each other to help one another even when we feel we are the ones who desperately need it too.

Did you know that the 12 apostles still exist today? Did you know that just like in ancient times they are here to teach us what Christ himself would teach us if here were here personally teaching us?

One of the 12 apostles on the earth today is Dieter F. Uchtdorf and he talks a lot about gratitude.

His Words

His words have brought so much peace to my troubled soul regarding this topic. There have been countless days where I personally have felt the world was crumbling around me, days where I thought there would be no escaping the darkness that exists inside my mind. I have hated people’s so-called “good advice” on optimism and gratitude because I felt it was literally IMPOSSIBLE for me to do anything let alone change my mindset and be more grateful for the trials I faced in my life. But I have come to realize that I was missing the mark the whole time. I thought I had to find gratitude in the things I despised the most. I thought because I could not see the good in all things there was something wrong with me and that I was just a pessimistic miserable person. But come to find out I was so WRONG.

Here read what Elder Uchtdorf says and maybe you will understand a little better what I am trying to say.

“Perhaps focusing on what we are grateful for is the wrong approach. It is difficult to develop a spirit of gratitude if our thankfulness is only proportional to the number of blessings we can count. True, it is important to frequently “count our blessings”—and anyone who has tried this knows there are many—but I don’t believe the Lord expects us to be less thankful in times of trial than in times of abundance and ease. In fact, most of the scriptural references do not speak of gratitude for things but rather suggest an overall spirit or attitude of gratitude.
It is easy to be grateful for things when life seems to be going our way. But what then of those times when what we wish for seems to be far out of reach?
Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.

When we are grateful to God in our circumstances, we can experience gentle peace in the midst of tribulation. In grief, we can still lift up our hearts in praise. In pain, we can glory in Christ’s Atonement. In the cold of bitter sorrow, we can experience the closeness and warmth of heaven’s embrace.
We sometimes think that being grateful is what we do after our problems are solved, but how terribly shortsighted that is. How much of life do we miss by waiting to see the rainbow before thanking God that there is rain?
Being grateful in times of distress does not mean that we are pleased with our circumstances. It does mean that through the eyes of faith we look beyond our present-day challenges.
This is not a gratitude of the lips but of the soul. It is a gratitude that heals the heart and expands the mind.“

Now do you get what I am saying a little better?

Deep down we know true lasting joy it is not found in our material possessions, it’s not in our job or personal status. True happiness is not found with where we live or how many children we have.

Eternal lasting happiness doesn’t come from the things we have or the current situation we are in. Happiness, as we think it is supposed to exist, might not come for days weeks months years or it might not even come at all in this life in the form we want.

How can you cultivate a spirit of gratitude while suffering with depression and anxiety?

Have you ever noticed the difference between someone who is always finding ways to show gratitude compared to someone who always seems to never be satisfied with anything?

What differences do you feel?

I promise the people who you know that are full of gratitude also have trials in their lives just like you. I didn’t say they have the same trials but we all have our burdens we are carrying, our individual personal hardships that sometimes in others we can’t see.

If you suffer from depression and anxiety you know that it can be hard to feel anything, let alone grateful.

If you are one of those I am so sorry you are hurting. Keep putting trust in the Lord and ask him to help you be able to find gratitude in your current situation. It might take a while but I promise he will answer your prayers and he will help you see.

It’s not always an easy task to be able to be grateful in our trials but as we do it it gets easier and easier.

The grass is always green when we have gratitude for what is on our side of the fence.

Have you ever been able to feel gratitude through struggling with your mental illness?