I hear myself say these words to my kids all the time.

“There is nothing to be scared of!”

“Why are you so scared?”

“I am right here, there is nothing to be fear”.

“I will make sure you stay safe nothing, will happen to you”.

The words leave my lips and I don’t even stutter.

Why is it so easy to offer my children comfort and security and so difficult to offer and believe it when I try to comfort myself?

Remembering back to childhood I realize my childhood fears were mostly overthought and irrational. Helping my children cope through their fears now seems like a flashback to what my fears were as a child.

I have to remind them,

There is no such thing as scary monsters who live in half-opened closets.

There are not random ninjas living in our unfinished basement waiting to attack at the first sight of life after a dark night.

Riding a bike is a new experience when you are young but generally speaking, once you get the hang of it (and usually only with a couple of minor scrapes or bruises) you are a pro and can ride without putting much thought into it.

Being in a school musical can be a little intimidating and nerve-wracking but the audience knows you are just in middle school and they will applaud any and all effort that is put into it no matter what rookie mistakes are made.

It’s Easy

It feels so effortless to cheer my kids on and promise them that everything will be ok.

But why can’t I seem to cheer myself on?

Why can’t I calm my never-ending, always intrusive thoughts of worry and doubt that flood my mind recently?

I suppose it’s because I’ve never lived through adulthood fully, to be able to look back and say, “Oh don’t waste your worry on that, it’s gonna all be ok”. Or, “it will hurt for a while but time will heal.”

When the reality is, as a child or an adult, we don’t actually know it is going to all be ok. Sometimes it doesn’t end up how we planned or dreamt, sometimes things turn out to be our worst-case scenario.

We can’t predict our future no matter how much we plan, prepare, or even pray for life to go a certain way.

Life can be scary, intimidating, and the unknown can feel threatening.

I’ll admit I’m scared right now, and I have been for the last few weeks. I keep pushing thoughts of fear to the side but they seem to somehow slowly and sneakily creep back in.

I find myself asking questions like,

“What if The economy never bounces back and we have to scrape by on almost nothing?”

“What if one of us or all of us gets sick from the Coronavirus and ends up in the hospital, or even dies from it?”

“What if my spouse gets in a horrible accident on their way to work and then ends up disabled or the never makes it out alive?”

“What if one of our children gets hurt or gets cancer?”

“What if I will never be able to enjoy another day without fighting through this looming depression?”

What if?

What if?

What if?

The what if’s could go on for days…and sometimes they do.

How do I put a stop to all this madness inside my mind? How to I stop these uninvited intrusive thoughts?

Trust in God

When I think of God, I imagine a father filled to the brim with light and overflowing with an abundance of eternal love.

He is someone who would never want to hurt me, but who would ALWAYS provide and protect me.

Someone who finds exceeding joy in my successes and mourns when I feel hopeless and lost.

He is all knowing, all powerful, He is my everything.

I guess I see him a little bit in the same way that I see myself as a mother to my children.
(obviously without the all knowing all powerful part 😉.)

I trust God has my best interest at heart. He wants what is best for me. He wants me to feel accomplished and justified.

He will provide, he will protect, he will carry me.

I TRUST HIM!…

Or do I?

If I keep doubting and letting fear creep in?

I mean I have always thought I trusted him.

It has usually been an easy thing to say to myself, “I trust your will, Lord”.

But I have found in times of life’s uncertainties those feelings of trust seem to easily slip away without a thought.

The trust I feel inside seems to hide and be pushed down to the bottom of my heart as I slowly let worry and doubt creep in.

Thinking about this trust I have in God I realize, I am right.

I DO!

I do trust him, I do love him. Because the older I get the more I recognize that just because things don’t go as I thought I needed them to, they always go according to His plan for me.

If I trust, no matter what hardship, sorrow, loneliness, or loss comes my way I can overcome.

Even though I get scared sometimes, it doesn’t mean I don’t trust God.

Even though hard things happen in life doesn’t mean he doesn’t care or love me unconditionally.

It just means I am a human living on faith in an imperfect body with an imperfect mind in a mortal world.

What is Trust?

Trust is a weird thing, it might seem impossible to trust someone you have never actually physically seen (like God).

But successful, everlasting, trust comes from years of a fruitful relationship. A relationship that is built on faith, mutual respect, and bonding experiences, and nourished through hope.

The kind of relationship I have been working on my whole life with my Heavenly Father.

Have you asked yourself lately this question?

How is my relationship with God?

It is never too soon and never too late to commit to a trusting relationship with God.

Now that I have explained trust in God…

What to do about intrusive thoughts that make you believe fear and not trust

Getting rid of intrusive thoughts is not usually an easy task. Obsessive intrusive thoughts of worry and fear can be overwhelming, and something we can feel totally debilitated by.

Sometimes having what we feel is trust in God is not enough to get rid of those nasty thoughts.

Sometimes we need help.

Needing help is not a weakness, in fact, it’s showing that you are strong and willing to try uncomfortable things to get better.

There are various techniques to get rid of intrusive thoughts, including types of therapies, counseling, etc. (more on that in another post, so stay tuned).

If you feel desperate like there is no one who understands your fears or thoughts, always pray first, and then talk, call, text, or even email anyone (I am only an email away), who loves you and let them know how you feel. Be honest, and open up to them about the way you are feeling and the thoughts you are having.

Sometimes accepting and letting go of our fears instead of keeping them to ourselves opens a way to freedom from them.

If talking it out helps you enough to get by then great, but if you need more help reach out and get it from someone who is trained to help people who have intrusive thoughts.

Children and Trust
I feel as humans we were innately created to trust in things we might not always understand.

If you haven’t noticed, children are naturally very trusting, (if they grow up in a semi “normal” environment) they easily build relationships of trust with others around them throughout their childhood.

As I go through life I am trying to be like that little child in God’s eyes. Knowing and trusting that no matter what life brings to me even if it is hard and I get scared, it will all work out and it will be for the best.

Easier said than done right? 🙂

What are some things that have helped you build your trust in God?

xo

Sara